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The Nagidos Nag, Issue The Great Merge Issue
****Special Merge issue****
***Special request Edition***
**Special today: Buy one, get one**
Bringing you the Truth through Lies since before the merge
Never Knowingly Accurate.
Proud to be standing up to truth and honesty. (Gaaaagh! - Ed)
****Special Merge issue****
***Special request Edition***
**Special today: Buy one, get one**
Bringing you the Truth through Lies since before the merge
Never Knowingly Accurate.
Proud to be standing up to truth and honesty. (Gaaaagh! - Ed)
The Originator of Alternative Facts and False News
Firstly, apologies to our loyal reader. RL has solidly interrupted any attempt to get a paper out for some weeks now. However, given the overwhelming clamour* for another issue to examine the news of the merge between Extortion and This Is Not A Drill, it seemed churlish to refuse.
* Well OK, Witchy asked. Nobody else cares...
SO this mighty organ has arranged an exclusive interview with one of the of the merged alliance, and we will try to find out what it's all about. We will also make up lots of quotes from interested parties to try to make this look more like a proper newspaper, but our regular reader won't be fooled by that.
So, without further ado, here's the interview; please note that the leader in question requested anonymity, which was refused on the grounds that it's patently obvious I'm too idle to interview anyone other than myself anyway.
NN: So This is Not A Drill and Extortion have chosen to merge to go for WWs. Was this always the plan?
Bear: No, not at all. We entered this world for one reason only, to try to win. From early on it was clear that there were four major powers in this world, and that the Bloods were not interested in WWs. So likely a three way fight, and we were comfortable with that. So long as neither of our opponents grew so large that we couldn't compete, then we fancied our chances in a build-off.
NN: And that's why you decided not to fight anyone?
Bear: Contrary to popular opinion, this ain't really a war game, it's a resource management game. You don't win the game by fighting - unfortunately, IMHO - but by building Wonders. So fighting played a part in securing our core and helping growth, but was never central to our plan of building WWs. We're playing this game as it is, not as we wish it was.
NN: What did you think about the first Great Merge?
Bear: The attempt between Extortion and Noobies? We thought it was the obvious step for them both to take to sideline us, but we also suspected that there were too many egos involved to make it work, and so it proved. Of course it's highly ironic to now here some of those concerned crying foul at our merge, but hey, that's life, you can't expect people not to be hypocritical.
NN: What changed your minds about a merge, then?
Bear: Practicalities. We figured we had a good chance to build 4, but next to no chance of building 7. Meanwhile, WG and others were throwing their lot in with SMYN which changed the maths a bit and we felt made it that bit harder.
NN: Skiboot says that you spoke to SMYN first about a merger, is that true?
Bear: We spoke to them, that's true. First? No.
NN: So you approached Extortion first, then?
Bear: Not really, no.
NN: I'm confused...
Bear: Extortion approached us. We considered our options, which meant talking to everyone. Long and the short of it was we took the option that best supported our goals.
NN: Skiboot also says you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Bear: Yeah, not sure why that should be the case. We're playing this world to win, so we do what we think gives us the best odds of doing that. Seems very peculiar to argue that that is somehow shameful, but hey...
NN: And Witchy is threatening to unleash his Krakens...
Bear: Ah Witchy, I do rather like him, you know.
NN: Oddly enough, I know...
Bear: I did try to tell him some time back that I thought he had chosen the wrong side, but he was so fixated on the TLO business...
NN: And the Krakens?
Bear: Whatever.
NN: He says this merge is a mistake you wouldn't have made.
Bear: Well I don't see it as a mistake, and I'm right behind it. In a non-WW world, it wouldn't have happened. As it is, Witchy's efforts almost guaranteed it happening.
NN: Tig says he's always known you and Extortion would work together, and he planned for it.
Bear: That's remarkably clever, because it was never part of our plans. For much of the time, we would have been more likely to fight Extortion than work with them.
NN: So you were planning to fight Extortion?
Bear: No; we didn't rule the option out, but never planned it. However, the option to merge with them was extremely recent. Which is why I say Tig was amazingly clever if he foresaw something we didn't.
NN: I think it would be fair to say the leadership of Extortion and This Is Not A Drill weren't always on the best of terms?
Bear: In some cases, yes. There were clashes between certain leaders, particularly at a diplo level early on.
NN: And now?
Bear: Simply not an issue. We all love each other.
NN: Thank you for your time.
Well now, that wasn't odd in the slightest, was it?
We went out to ask various people for their opinions, but it was raining, so made them up instead:
Skiboot: "It's all shameful, they should be ashamed, it's shaming, what a shame. How dare they try to win? Shameful."
Tig: "I knew they would do that, it's all part of my cunning plan."
MBCZ: "How pleasant to have RT and Bear part of the alliance."
WG: "Krakens, oppressors, Rimlords, er, make some sort of sentence out of that..."
Skiboot: "Shameful, I say, shameful. Embarrassing. Shameful. Don't you know it's not done to try to win?"
Steve Johnson: "Where's the beer?"
Skiboot: "Shameful! They're going to drink all the beer too! Embarrassing! Shameful!"
RT: "Beer, now you're talking!"
**Fidelitas**: "Bostin' article, where's the beer?"
Skiboot: "If you think that organising all the top players into one alliance to win at any cost is smart then I can't help you."
Bear: "Clearly not, Ski, because you didn't think of it. Not sure why you don't think it's smart, though?"
Skiboot: "It's actually about as dumb as it gets"
Bear: "And why's that, Ski? Surely it's only dumb if it doesn't work. Surely it's a remarkably sensible way of achieving one's goals?"
Skiboot: "Shameful! Embarrassing! Shameful! Embarrassing! Embarrassing! Shameful!"
Bear: "No wibble?"
Skiboot: "Wibble wibble wibble shameful wibble embarrassing wibble wibble wibble"
Bear: "Well, makes more sense than the rest of your arguments, for sure."
Steve Johnson: "About that beer..."
And on that note, no good journalist could turn down the opportunity for a pint, and I'm certainly a no good journalist.
* Well OK, Witchy asked. Nobody else cares...
SO this mighty organ has arranged an exclusive interview with one of the of the merged alliance, and we will try to find out what it's all about. We will also make up lots of quotes from interested parties to try to make this look more like a proper newspaper, but our regular reader won't be fooled by that.
So, without further ado, here's the interview; please note that the leader in question requested anonymity, which was refused on the grounds that it's patently obvious I'm too idle to interview anyone other than myself anyway.
NN: So This is Not A Drill and Extortion have chosen to merge to go for WWs. Was this always the plan?
Bear: No, not at all. We entered this world for one reason only, to try to win. From early on it was clear that there were four major powers in this world, and that the Bloods were not interested in WWs. So likely a three way fight, and we were comfortable with that. So long as neither of our opponents grew so large that we couldn't compete, then we fancied our chances in a build-off.
NN: And that's why you decided not to fight anyone?
Bear: Contrary to popular opinion, this ain't really a war game, it's a resource management game. You don't win the game by fighting - unfortunately, IMHO - but by building Wonders. So fighting played a part in securing our core and helping growth, but was never central to our plan of building WWs. We're playing this game as it is, not as we wish it was.
NN: What did you think about the first Great Merge?
Bear: The attempt between Extortion and Noobies? We thought it was the obvious step for them both to take to sideline us, but we also suspected that there were too many egos involved to make it work, and so it proved. Of course it's highly ironic to now here some of those concerned crying foul at our merge, but hey, that's life, you can't expect people not to be hypocritical.
NN: What changed your minds about a merge, then?
Bear: Practicalities. We figured we had a good chance to build 4, but next to no chance of building 7. Meanwhile, WG and others were throwing their lot in with SMYN which changed the maths a bit and we felt made it that bit harder.
NN: Skiboot says that you spoke to SMYN first about a merger, is that true?
Bear: We spoke to them, that's true. First? No.
NN: So you approached Extortion first, then?
Bear: Not really, no.
NN: I'm confused...
Bear: Extortion approached us. We considered our options, which meant talking to everyone. Long and the short of it was we took the option that best supported our goals.
NN: Skiboot also says you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Bear: Yeah, not sure why that should be the case. We're playing this world to win, so we do what we think gives us the best odds of doing that. Seems very peculiar to argue that that is somehow shameful, but hey...
NN: And Witchy is threatening to unleash his Krakens...
Bear: Ah Witchy, I do rather like him, you know.
NN: Oddly enough, I know...
Bear: I did try to tell him some time back that I thought he had chosen the wrong side, but he was so fixated on the TLO business...
NN: And the Krakens?
Bear: Whatever.
NN: He says this merge is a mistake you wouldn't have made.
Bear: Well I don't see it as a mistake, and I'm right behind it. In a non-WW world, it wouldn't have happened. As it is, Witchy's efforts almost guaranteed it happening.
NN: Tig says he's always known you and Extortion would work together, and he planned for it.
Bear: That's remarkably clever, because it was never part of our plans. For much of the time, we would have been more likely to fight Extortion than work with them.
NN: So you were planning to fight Extortion?
Bear: No; we didn't rule the option out, but never planned it. However, the option to merge with them was extremely recent. Which is why I say Tig was amazingly clever if he foresaw something we didn't.
NN: I think it would be fair to say the leadership of Extortion and This Is Not A Drill weren't always on the best of terms?
Bear: In some cases, yes. There were clashes between certain leaders, particularly at a diplo level early on.
NN: And now?
Bear: Simply not an issue. We all love each other.
NN: Thank you for your time.
Well now, that wasn't odd in the slightest, was it?
We went out to ask various people for their opinions, but it was raining, so made them up instead:
Skiboot: "It's all shameful, they should be ashamed, it's shaming, what a shame. How dare they try to win? Shameful."
Tig: "I knew they would do that, it's all part of my cunning plan."
MBCZ: "How pleasant to have RT and Bear part of the alliance."
WG: "Krakens, oppressors, Rimlords, er, make some sort of sentence out of that..."
Skiboot: "Shameful, I say, shameful. Embarrassing. Shameful. Don't you know it's not done to try to win?"
Steve Johnson: "Where's the beer?"
Skiboot: "Shameful! They're going to drink all the beer too! Embarrassing! Shameful!"
RT: "Beer, now you're talking!"
**Fidelitas**: "Bostin' article, where's the beer?"
Skiboot: "If you think that organising all the top players into one alliance to win at any cost is smart then I can't help you."
Bear: "Clearly not, Ski, because you didn't think of it. Not sure why you don't think it's smart, though?"
Skiboot: "It's actually about as dumb as it gets"
Bear: "And why's that, Ski? Surely it's only dumb if it doesn't work. Surely it's a remarkably sensible way of achieving one's goals?"
Skiboot: "Shameful! Embarrassing! Shameful! Embarrassing! Embarrassing! Shameful!"
Bear: "No wibble?"
Skiboot: "Wibble wibble wibble shameful wibble embarrassing wibble wibble wibble"
Bear: "Well, makes more sense than the rest of your arguments, for sure."
Steve Johnson: "About that beer..."
And on that note, no good journalist could turn down the opportunity for a pint, and I'm certainly a no good journalist.
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